Quotes: Succinct and Otherwise

I'm trying to get in a writerly mood by reading about other people who actually write and have the writing life that I so desire. Here are some of the quotes that work for me:

• "I always write from my own experiences whether I've had them or not." Ron Carlson

• While writing about introducing the major problems in a work of long fiction: "I have come to call these flaming chainsaws. Your success as a storyteller has to do with your ability to juggle them. Every time the flaming chainsaws pass through your hands, they gain speed, become more perilous, until at last they are extinguished." Benjamin Percy

• "It is a creative person's individuality that defines him." Eric Maisel

• "By middle life, most of us are accomplished fugitives from ourselves." John Gardner    (not really applicable, but I love the quote and John Gardner is a great writer)

• "The issues around creativity versus caretaking have long polarized women against each other. We each need to live by our own truths and values." Gail McMeekin

Quotes are snippets of wisdom in a world full of sound bites, and in a culture that encourages a short attention span. One way I tame my fragmented thought process is my spending the day outside. (something I used to do a lot) Go for a hike of several hours duration and I think you'll find that you're thinking about things in a new way. A long walk will clear out the cobwebs and let in the oxygen. You can quote me on that.

Writing About Cancer

I was just reading a couple of articles under the heading: "Journalists question the ethics of cancer-of fighting it, and of blogging about it".  The catalyst of this examination seemed to be a Connecticut woman, Lisa Bonchek Adams, who has stage 4 breast cancer and three children. I find her blog to be well-written and articulate. I challenge you to read her welcome page and not feel the weight of her existence. Grace under fire. <http://lisabadams.com/> If you only have time to read one post, go directly to The stupid things people say to people with cancer. All of us who live in the company of cancer will appreciate it. <http://lisabadams.com/2013/02/27/the-stupid-things-people-say-to-people-with-cancertheir-families/>

To the writers who think her honesty is inappropriate, I am blowing a big, loud raspberry your way. I'm not saying you can't enjoy all the superficial crap that appears on your computer screen, but don't be a hater when it comes to another human being sharing one of the most raw and terrible experiences life can throw at you. (And, yes, I know the list is long) I can tell you from experience that, when you are diagnosed with cancer, the first thing you do is read about it. But the next thing is when you search out other people who are going through the same thing. You want stories. You want help being brave. And you want hope. All of that is out there in someone's personal writing where they put their own heartbreak down in words. When it happens to you, you'll be grateful.

In the meantime, if you don't want to read blogs that are written about cancer, don't. However, if you do want to read a good article on the subject, try "Tweeting Cancer" by Meghan O'Rourke.

< http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2014/01/tweeting-cancer.html>

Down For the Count

I've been getting sick and feel like crawling into bed and sleeping for about a week, but I can't breathe when I lie down. I can't take cold medicine because it gives me heart palpitations that are scarier than being sick. While staggering around sick and miserable, I accidentally infuriated my husband last night as I tried to serve dinner, so we had a fight, or would have, if he hadn't stormed out the door. He always storms out. It's sort of like guaranteeing he'll get the last word in no matter what. And what could make a fight more fun than having family members around to be the audience? Well, I'll tell you what is more fun. It's waking up the next morning and discovering that the house stinks because a mouse is dead behind the radiator. A dead and roasting mouse. A difficult to get out from behind the radiator kind of mouse.

How I feel today.

Mid-January Arrives

I'm home with a sick child again today. The day is supposed to be warm so maybe we can go outside later and soak up some sun and outside air.

I went out to the writing group last night and enjoyed the company. The dynamics are always adjusting in an open group like ours. It's open to the public because we get a free room at the library and the world has an opportunity to walk through our door. Meeting spaces are a valuable commodity these days. I was getting burned-out on the group last fall. Probably because I was burned-out in general. But we have worked back into having an interesting mix of people and writing styles so my enthusiasm is returning.

Change is in the air. Three of the family members living in this house have found a nice apartment within walking distance, near a park and an elementary school. They are delighted to be moving to their own domain, and the remaining two old people are looking forward to reclaiming their space.

Nice sunrise this morning

Tennis Balls in a Dryer

Most days, life is like listening to tennis balls in a dryer. My new normal. I doubt it's normal for someone who is Amish, or in a monastery, or packing supplies up to a high mountain fire tower. But out here in the trenches, too much information and sensory input banging away is a sign of the times. Tennis balls, in their garish yellow and weird fuzzy texture sort of way, pound around in a dryer but never have the decency to stick to a pattern. If they would thump and boom with regularity, one could rest for a microsecond in between the assaults of sound, like the way a mountain climber will rest by locking one leg with each grueling step, for an almost indiscernible moment to rest, preserving energy for the long haul.

You could simply not put your tennis balls in the dryer in the first place, but that would require forethought years in advance. Once they're tumbling, it's hard to turn off the dryer.

I was reading about poetry today. Poets don't get much credit for the intricacies involved in creating a fine poem. I know just barely enough to have great respect for the art of poetry. Now that I'm in that frame of mind, without the tools of the poet to assist me, all I can do is babble about tennis balls in a dryer.

Yikes!

Upgrading Your Personality

Yesterday

Today

Both days are pretty but today is very cold. It's a good idea to stay inside and look at the flakes through the glass. A good day for reading, but most days are. A good day for trying to get organized... a tedious task always. 

I'm reading a book about writing, of course, and came across an interesting chapter titled "Upgrading Your Personality".  It's a small chapter and I like it despite that it wanders a tiny bit and doesn't totally commit to the idea that a personality can be upgraded. Yet it's restating an old concept in a new way. Sometimes that's the only way to get someone to think. Eric Maisel PH.D. writes: "It turns out that if we do not upgrade our personality, it tends to degrade." (from A Writer's Space) With every part of my body slowly going to hell, I hate the idea that my personality will soon follow. As a preventative measure, I'll immediately add Upgrade Personality to my list of New Year's Resolutions.

Frustration

I'm starting out the new year frustrated. The brick wall I hit isn't important but I let myself get really annoyed about it. I'm like that sometimes. The difference between old Rebecca and new Rebecca is that old Rebecca would have gotten in her car, driven the mile to the office, and would have talked to someone's face. It wouldn't have been pretty or productive, but it would have been memorable. But old Rebecca knows that some memories aren't worth making, and has mellowed out considerably.

The first crazy maker of 2014 was about milk delivery.

I decided I wanted good quality, healthy milk delivered to my front door by The Longmont Dairy. Sounds easy. Just call and set it up. Right? Not at all. I called and was told that I could set it up online (translate that as "Don't bother me. I just work here in customer service"), but then She#1 added that I would have to auto pay. I had read the Longmont Dairy website and there was no mention of auto pay anywhere on it. In fact, it said they would bill on the first of the month for the previous month's deliveries which was fine with me. That's what I wanted to do.  I asked She#1 why I needed to auto pay. She said she didn't know. Then she guessed that it just must be the route. She took down my home phone number and cell number and was supposed to email me an account number. I was told to activate my account by 4:30 that afternoon. If I had gotten that email as promised, I would have just set up the delivery of two gallons of milk a week at $3.99 each despite my lack of satisfaction about having to do so. But the email never arrived and she never called me on either of my two phone numbers to admit she hadn't been able to correctly write down a simple email address.

I phoned back the next morning and got She#2 who kept interrupting me so we didn't get off to a good start. Once she listened, we made even less progress. I asked her why I had to be on auto pay when there was nothing mentioned about it on the website. She got snippy with me. "I don't know," she said. I said that wasn't a very satisfactory answer, and she replied, "If I knew why I'd tell you.....Ma'am." It was the pause between the bitch tone and the "Ma'am" that pissed me off. Knowing I have a temper, I wisely got off the phone. It's just about milk, after all. I then received the email to set up the account. On the email it stated that individual orders of $100 or more had to be paid with auto pay. My order would be around $8.00 week, so that didn't sound right.... Oh, how nice! A place to email questions to Longmont Dairy! So I've been exchanging emails with another lady for several days now. Finally, today, she wrote that my neighborhood has a high number of collections and that "could be" why it's auto pay. I had also asked for an explanation of what auto pay involves. Are the funds taken out in advance? Weekly? Monthly? but no answer on that. We people of the Westside Hood are sneaky and must not be given any straight answers lest we rip off Longmont Dairy for $8.00.

So, that's the sort of crap that makes me wonder what the world is coming to when a company can't handle a simple milk delivery order with some decent customer service. I don't like being lumped in with some deadbeats. I don't like being spoken to rudely when I'm being polite. And I was always polite. They weren't. I don't like vague answers. You sell dairy products, Longmont Dairy. It can't be that difficult to know the subject thoroughly.

I've been buying milk at the grocery store for years and I will continue to do so at this rate. It's the original auto pay system. I wish I'd never called them in the first place. Once I made the choice to write this delivery stuff off as a bad idea, I immediately felt better. Maybe someday in the distant future I'll be able to enjoy the luxury of fresh, wholesome milk delivered to my door, but not today.

The only cow picture I have.

The New Year Begins With Snow

I just looked outside and thought that the streets were beginning to look wet. I went out on the porch and discovered that it's snowing very lightly. The town is quiet. No cars, so I could hear every flake as it made that little hiss of a sound as it landed on the ground, the leaves, and the walkways. I was having a peaceful moment when the sound of a nail gun, or something similar, intruded. One of the neighbors is starting out the new year by working on his house at 9:00 AM on a holiday. That's just how it is sometimes. The moments of gentle nature have to compete with the harsh realities of living in a community. I'll take whatever time with nature I can get but I would have liked that shushing sound of the snow to go on a lot longer.

Still....a shiny new year to plan and scheme and construct a life around.

Best wishes, all.